Writing an obituary is often a task that falls to grieving family members or close friends, but in recent years, more and more people are choosing to write their own obituaries. The act of crafting your own obituary can be a profound and empowering exercise, allowing you to reflect on your life, preserve your legacy, and ensure that your story is told the way you want it to be told. It’s a unique opportunity to celebrate your life on your terms, leaving behind a personal tribute that conveys your values, achievements, and the essence of who you are.
If you’ve ever wondered how to write your own obituary, this guide will walk you through the process and help you understand why this practice is becoming increasingly popular.
Why Write Your Own Obituary?
Writing your obituary offers a chance to control the narrative of your life, ensuring that the most meaningful aspects of your journey are reflected accurately. There are several compelling reasons why people choose to write their own obituary:
1. Take Control of Your Legacy
By writing your obituary, you’re ensuring that your life is remembered according to your wishes. You get to decide what accomplishments, relationships, and milestones are highlighted. Whether you want to emphasize your professional achievements, your love for family, or your passion for a cause, you can craft a message that reflects who you truly are.
2. Relieve Family Members from a Difficult Task
When a loved one passes away, writing an obituary can be an emotional and challenging task for the surviving family members. By preparing your obituary ahead of time, you alleviate this burden and provide your family with a clear and thoughtful reflection of your life.
3. Celebrate Life and Reflect on Your Journey
Writing your obituary is a deeply reflective process. It encourages you to take stock of your life, focusing on the moments and achievements that matter most. This can be a cathartic experience that allows you to celebrate your life’s work, your relationships, and the impact you’ve had on others.
How to Write Your Own Obituary
1. Start with the Basics: Name, Birth, and Death
Begin your obituary with the fundamental details: your full name, your date of birth, and the date of your passing (this can be left blank for now). You might also want to include any other identifying information, such as nicknames or titles. For example:
“John “Jack” Henry Smith, born on June 15, 1960, in Miami, Florida, passed away peacefully on January 10, 2025.”
This section sets the tone for the obituary and provides the essential details that will help readers identify who you are.
2. Personal Information: Family and Relationships
The next section is where you can mention key family members and relationships that shaped your life. This might include your parents, spouse, children, siblings, grandchildren, and other close relatives. This is also an opportunity to mention those who have predeceased you, as well as those who survive you. Here’s an example:
“Jack is survived by his beloved wife, Mary, his children, Emily and Michael, and his four grandchildren, Sarah, Jack Jr., Anna, and James. He was predeceased by his parents, William and Margaret Smith.”
Including family members adds a personal touch and emphasizes the bonds that defined your life.
3. Career, Achievements, and Milestones
The next section focuses on your professional life, personal achievements, and significant milestones. This is where you can highlight your career accomplishments, degrees, or special projects, as well as personal victories or turning points in your life. Think about what you want people to remember about your professional or personal contributions. You may want to list things like:
Career: “Jack worked as an engineer for over 30 years, making significant contributions to the local community through his work on environmental sustainability projects.”
Achievements: “In 1998, he was awarded the Green Innovator Award for his dedication to eco-friendly construction methods.”
Milestones: “He also proudly completed a marathon at the age of 50, a testament to his commitment to health and wellness.”
This section helps others understand the breadth of your life’s accomplishments.
4. Hobbies, Interests, and Passions
What did you enjoy doing in your free time? This is where you can include any hobbies, passions, or causes you cared deeply about. Whether you were an avid gardener, an enthusiastic traveler, a volunteer, or a lover of music, these are important aspects of who you were. Sharing this information not only highlights your personality but also provides a more complete picture of the kind of person you were. For example:
“Jack was a passionate gardener, spending his weekends cultivating his beloved roses. He also enjoyed hiking in the mountains and was an active member of the local environmental advocacy group.”
These interests will make your obituary feel more like a celebration of your life rather than a list of accomplishments.
5. Memorable Anecdotes or Quotes
Including a short anecdote or a favorite quote can make your obituary feel even more personal and relatable. This is an excellent place to reflect your personality and sense of humor. Perhaps you have a saying or a piece of advice you lived by that you want to share. For example:
“One of Jack’s favorite sayings was, ‘Life’s too short to not enjoy a good cup of coffee with friends,’ a mantra he lived by every morning with his neighbors at the local café.”
This section offers a chance for your obituary to feel genuine and reflective of your individuality.
6. Final Words: Closing Message
Many people choose to end their obituary with a closing message or sentiment. This could be a thank you to loved ones, a final piece of advice, or even a call to action in your memory. For instance, you might end with:
“In lieu of flowers, Jack requested that donations be made to the local environmental foundation, an organization that meant so much to him. Above all, he wished for his family and friends to live lives full of love, kindness, and adventure.”
This section provides a final reflection of your values and can offer guidance or comfort to those who are mourning your passing.
The Benefits of Writing Your Own Obituary
1. Emotional Relief for Your Loved Ones
When you write your own obituary, you relieve your family and friends of a potentially overwhelming task during a time of grief. This can be especially comforting for loved ones who may not know how to encapsulate your life into words. They will appreciate your thoughtful preparation, making a difficult time just a little bit easier to navigate.
2. A Thoughtful Legacy
By reflecting on your life, you ensure that your story is told exactly as you wish. Whether you want to emphasize your personal growth, family legacy, or contributions to the community, this obituary will act as a lasting tribute to who you were and what you stood for.
3. Encourages Self-Reflection and Purpose
The process of writing your own obituary encourages self-reflection. It prompts you to think about your life in a meaningful way—what you’ve accomplished, what you’ve learned, and how you’ve impacted the world. This kind of introspection can offer a sense of peace and fulfillment, especially as you gain perspective on your personal journey.
Final Tips for Writing Your Own Obituary
1. Be Honest, but Positive
Your obituary is a place to celebrate the good in your life, but it’s also important to be honest about who you were. Embrace your flaws and complexities, but focus on how you overcame challenges or how they shaped you into the person you became.
2. Keep It Updated
Life is constantly evolving, and so are you. As you reach new milestones, remember to revisit your obituary and update it accordingly. It’s a living document that can grow with you.
3. Share Your Obituary with Loved Ones
Let your family know that you’ve written your obituary and where they can find it. This ensures they are aware of your wishes and can use it when the time comes.
Conclusion
Writing your own obituary can be an empowering and deeply fulfilling process. It allows you to celebrate your life on your terms, ensure your legacy is preserved, and offer comfort to your loved ones during a challenging time. By following the guidelines and tips provided, you can craft an obituary that truly represents who you are, what you’ve achieved, and the impact you’ve had on the world. How to write your own obituary is more than just a task—it’s a gift to both yourself and your loved ones.
